Relationships

I actually know quite a few women in real life that I think like me. In some ways they are ideal dating candidates as regards character, personality, attractiveness, age, geographical location, family situation, independant financial standing and our shared passions and interest. I really enjoy my friendship with them and engaging with them in our shared passions and activity. But despite all of this I don’t feel that special chemical attraction towards them.

Those few women that I do feel attracted to are everything but ideal candidates for me. Its either their age, where they live, their family situation, their real interests and passions. This is even without mentioning their character and personality. The “love at first sight” relationship that I experience in my infactuation with some of them soon wears off once I got to know them a little better and see their true character and how they interacted ……..or how they did not interact with me.

Why do so many of us have this tendency to “fall in love” with the wrong type of person. The type of person that is not really suited to us. The type of person that instead of uplifting us into becoming better persons actually break us down and bring out the very worst in us?

Why do so many of us always keep searching for this mystery, magical person on the other side of the planet when there is an ideal but simple match literally next door, or in the same village or town or at least in the same country, just waiting for us to ask them.

Yes maybe love is a bit overrated sometimes and maybe we should not always let it have the complete influence on our final decision in who we decide to share the following years of our lives with.

But for those of you who did find someone through the “instant chemistry of love” that turned both of you into better persons, that made you both a complete unit in soul, body and mind, treasure what you have and never let it go, because you have found something truly rare, unique and remarkable.

True love and its chemistry who can really explain it?

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Our initial attraction to another human being is primarily  based  on what we see and hear in them but after a while as you get to know that person their inner soul or character comes to the foreground. It finally reaches the point that when you look at that person you see their inner soul or character first and their looks second.
At this point no matter how attractive they are with their perfect figure, six pack, make up and hairstyle if they have a bad character then that is what you see. Their inner character has become so prominant that it has made them ugly.
Needless to say this leads us to the opposite phenomen, a good person remains beautiful no matter what has become of their physical body in the eyes of those who know and love them.
This world puts so much attention on our outward appearance, physical beauty and looks that it actually makes people become unattractive from within.

We begin to realise that the more perfect someone looks then more than likely the more vain and shallow they have become in their thinking and character. They have been mislead into thinking that having a perfect body will make them a better person.

However there is nothing wrong with physical beauty in itself.  We were made to appreciate and enjoy these physical attributes and if we can improve our looks in a natural way that is something positive. It should never however be at the cost of losing our inner soul.
In fact our primary goal should be working on our inner beauty. We should constanly be looking at our internal mirror so that we can become and remain people with good beautiful characters.

But we also have to accept and realise that this internal beauty will only be seen and admired by people who have like minded visual capabilities and values.