I will quickly add that this has nothing to do with how we can reduce “Global warming”, through the burning of less fossils fuels, or reducing pollution and waste caused by global transportation and tourism. Or maybe it could have some influence on how much we fossils fuels we still would burn when we get there??
Just thinking out aloud again, writing personal observations combined with one or two famous quotes and a change in thinking that has been embraced by some. Its based on a simple observation how SOME people seem to be ticking of their bucket list of “must see” travel destinations before they ….
“kick the bucket”
I repeat SOME travellors seem to have raced around the entire globe
“in 90 days “
while actually not taking the time to really experience being there.
This is combined with another observation how SOME people live their journeys to their destinations. The do not seem to understand or appreciate the very wise words of
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Its the not the Destination, It’s the journey.
I think he is telling us that instead of transporting ourself several hours ahead of time thinking about everything we plan to do and when we get there that we should come out of that mental state of thinking and return to the present moment at hand, the journey. Although we are in motion, moving forward we should try to stand still in the moment that is currently taken place before us.
Yes its based on the philosophy of “Mindfulness” that encourages us to live in the “now” moment observing, savouring and fully engaging in every positive experience that is crossing our paths.
Yes our vacation actually starts right from the moment we leave our home.
We need to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.
Take the time to enjoy the scenary passing by, if its a night flight or journey and we are really tired then show gratitude even if it is only to ourselves for the opportunity of sleep. If we can’t sleep then lets try and connect with our fellow passengers on board, spouse, siblings, our children, best friend or even that complete stranger sitting next to us. So many interesting and intriguing conversations have developed from such spontaneous interaction with each party sharing their own personal unique life story and experiences. These conversations have sometimes lead to the development of long lasting friendships, friendships that were established hours before the the plane landed at the airport or the train or bus arrived at the station.
And when we do finally arrive at our destination do we take the time to savour that specific moment. We are at the starting block of the destination part of our vacation it is still not over, we have several days or weeks to look forward to. Its a wonderful moment to remember savour and store in our heart and mind.
Admittedly it can be very difficult to fully relax when this is probably our first and only visit to this particular “Port of Call” We may have a huge list of and places to visit and activities to do in a very limited time scale.
We have one of three choices;
Stick to the plan, do not get side tracked, do not slow down or rest up, there is no time, we must be determined to keep to the timetable. We have to get the maximum value of money spent and time sacrificed in relation to the number of monuments, landmarks, breathtaking scenaries and action packed activities that will take place and that will all be perfectly recorded, stored and shared on our Instagram accounts.
But don’t worry because when we get back home we will have a whole year to relax, view and savour the moments on our smartphones, tablets and laptops.
Or maybe we are a simply a inbetweener. (I know I just made that word up) We want to see some of the local attractions and landmarks but we have very limited interest, enthusiame and involvement because all we completely shattered and all we really want to do is “crash out” with only every now and then making some physical effort to get up, stagger to the pool or sea to experience some form of partial or complete liquid submergance. Its either that or we just wanted to go for a pea. We could have stayed in our own country or county and just booked into Sunparks. However Sunparks backgrounds just don’t “cut it” on Instagram, thats just “not done”
Or we can choose to ignore a large part of our “to visit” and “to do” list and just “visit” and “do” what my so called Minimalistic method of travelling allows. When we visit or do something we open our heart and minds fully to that place or experience being fully present.
When we are standing in that Roman Arena or Aztec Temple or Egyptian Pyramid we close our eyes (figureratively speaking) traveling back in time ( yes now we can leave the present for a moment) and imagine ourself actually being there surrounded by spectators that are cheering on the gladiators, we imagine the smell of fear of the prisoners and can feel the suspense in the air. Or maybe we imagine the hustle and bussle of an ancient market packed with produce, livestock and ornaments spread out on tables and stalls before us.
We slowly climb that one cliff at sunset and embrace the panoramic master piece being painted across the horizon in front of us.
We strip half or fully naked and dive into that one laggoon despite the fact that there are several more unique laggoons and waterfalls to see further up the trail that we will never get to see because we could not resist the first one we encountered . But we simply don’t care because we have this one laggoon all for ourself at this moment in time, today, now.
The fact is, the vast majority of us will never get to travel and experience even one tenth of this planets natural wonders and beauties and I question even those that did if they were really had enough time to fully be present preserving those moments in their heart and mind, instead of just on their smartphones or cameras.
However I do recognise and acknowlegde that everyone is different. For some thousands of brief moment is enough and fully satisfying for them.
Which leads me to the following;
“Each to their own”
“If thats what makes you happy then continue doing that way”
And in fact “who am I” to question anybodies way of doing things?
And admittedly this alternative slower pace of travelling means one will see even less of this beautiful planet.
But I will purposely choose this method of travelling because,
I do not consider myself a health freak or a sport addict but when I learn that something is good for you I try it and when I learn that something is bad for you I endeavour to avoid it. My eating habits have changed over the years and will probably continue to do so and as regards sport I think I engage in it on a daily basis in one way at work because it’s not about extremes but simply about keeping yourself active on a daily basis. However I do engage in real sport as well on a regular basis. Although no guarantee in itself I do believe it helps in reducing the risks of certain types of illnesses.
There are other equally important factors involved that if ignored can adversely affect our chances of long term health. Study and research in these additional areas is an ongoing journey of discovery but also a realisation of things that we subconsciously already knew and already applied in our daily lives.
Why do we find it so important to satisfy this internal desire to be socialble and connect with other beings that starts with our own parents and siblings and develops into searching for even more connection outside that circle with friends and relatives and finally resulting in searching for that special relationship of love and connection generally satisfied in the opposite sex. When these fundamental needs our not adequately satisfied we tend to suffer health wise with one aspect generally leading to another, from emotional to mental to physically issues.
If you have found a good relationship do not take it for granted. Unfortunately many of us do not entertain that luxury but we still have hope. We can still endeavour to maintain good ties with our existing family and friends that can bring out the best in us and our self worth in a positive way.
Also the satisfaction in the act of giving and helping others as a opposed to the ‘selfish me’ first lifestyle has really helped ones to find a positive up building purpose in their lives that in turn contributes to good health. It does not always have to be something spectacular though, even just ‘giving’ some of our precious time and personal attention can do wonders for another human being. It seems fairly obvious that the results we witness and the gratitude received from our efforts can only produce positive health benefits in ourselves. The inner emotional joy in our soul can only have positive effects on our mental well being which in turn can only be good for are physical health even though we may at times be exhausted from the physical exertion involved. I am thinking of that expression ‘Hard work never killed anyone’ .
These things can help us in our goal to build and maintain a positive emotional and mental attitude in life, whatever are situation maybe while at the same time growing instead of stagnating in self pity, continually endeavouring to move forward making positive changes in our lives.
Art, music, culture, traditions, travel, dance or sport. Have you discovered your personal passion yet, something that touches your heart and soul every time you see hear or actively participate in it? Even if we discover and start these things later on in life the benefits to our health our invaluable due to the deep inner joy and satisfaction experienced.
And then there is ‘Spirituality’ something that everyone has to decide for themselves whether they choose to recognise it or not and respecting everyone else’s choice in this matter. For many it has played a very important role in their general well being in addition to the positive effect they radiate to those around them.
I don’t know how I got from sharing a photo of my breakfast cereal to talking about basic spirituality. I guess I just wanted to say;
“Take good care of yourself, your body, your life and well being but remember that there is a lot more involved than just a healthy diet and frequent exercise.”
Recently a friend of mine commented on a photograph that was taken of me dancing at a salsa party. He said that I had a very serious expression on my face while doing something that should actually make you smile profusely,……dancing to rhythmic Latin music with a beautiful woman.
Although I do actually smile very profusely in general while dancing I had to agree with him on this occasion that I did have a very serious, none smiling exrpession on my face.
But as usual I have an answer for everything and I felt like sharing it with with you briefly
“Yes Koen its true. My colleagues at work are continually teasing me about all the beautiful women that I dance with at these parties , but I always reply defensively saying;
‘yes I do dance with some very beautiful women but I have to concentrate on executing my salsa turn patterns in such a way that I can lead them properly, keep in time with the rhythm and be prepared for my next pattern combination so that the dance remains a pleasant smiling experience for them in such a way that they will be prepared to dance with me again in the future.’ “
Hence that moment ot intense serious concentration caught on camera………but even then I my heart beams with joy inside while I am enjoying the moment of at least being able to do at least one thing right with a women.
When my second relationship ended in a second divorce within a year I was talking to my son about how I had moved in with my suitcases half unpacked because you have to be prepared that things might not work out.
I think my son would be a better blogger than me because he does not say much but when he says something its bang on target, bulls eye etc. He answered that it might have been “a self fulfilling prophecy”. Because you think it might happen, then you inevitably do things unconciously to make it happen.
What has this got to do with Defense Mechanism?
This was and probably still is my technique to protect myself emotionally and mentally. Always be prepared for the worse case scenario. If it does not happen fine but if it does then your prepared and it won’t hurt so bad. It is an inherit belief that anything good that you experience will be taken away from you.
If I watch to much daily news and see and hear all the bad stuff going on around me I reason if it has happen to them then it is bound to happen to me as well.
Anything that makes you happy will be removed. You are not allowed to be happy. This is getting really depressing isn’t it? I’ll stop. I know I need to go to the shrink…. again.
Anyway despite this technique I was in shock, sad and disappointed when our relationship came to an abrupt end (might have to do with the fact that I was slowly shutting down my defence mechanism and completely unpacking my suitcases)
However I opened a cover above my left ear just under my skin in the side of my skull and turned off that switch again for a second time confirming my convictions. I felt that I recovered reasonably well and quickly in comparision to other people dealing with break ups.
There is obviously something wrong with me on that score and not the women because two women can’t be wrong can they? O.K. don’t answer that!
Despite my seemingly successful quick recovery I don’t think that this is the right way to go into a relationship but at the same time the immense pain and sadness in breaking up is also not a pleasant thing to deal with either.
My son quoted something else from one of those Batman films I think, when he was stuck in some kind of deep hole or pit and every time he tried to climb out he failed. (Your going to have to help me out on this one) There was some other guy in the pit that said your attitude or disposition is all wrong. You have to climb in a way that you are positive that you will succeed, go the whole way, don’t think about failure. Lo and behold he succeeded in his next attempt.
I guess thats how you should go into a relationship, your in love, and you are going to stick together no matter what, there is no consideration of failure. Maybe similiar to athletes in competition. All contenders are aiming for gold and they convince themselves that they are going to win gold…. ..despite the fact that only one contender can win gold.
How do you deal with losing in competition and more importantly in love? What type of defence mechanism can you set up that does not affect your goal to succeed but protects you from the pain of failure?
I don’t think that formula exists.
This is apart of being alive.
If the fear of failure stops us from doing or starting something then we are as good as dead.
I quote the well known saying;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
Seeing as my son played an inspirational role in this short blog I would like to share a link to a song he made recently onder his artist name LTGL with the same title “Defence Mechanism”, but I have to warn you its not everyones cup of tea. No sorry I will correct that statement your going to love this song. https://m.soundcloud.com/tangramrecords/ltgl-defense-mechanism-tngrm005 wiseguy2016