http://A blog in response to a social media post from Tracy Mcmillan
……there is nothing to bring you into the present moment like travelling alone…
I have been travelling alone for several years now. At first it felt strange after living the full family life for over a quarter of a century. However I seemed to adapt to this new status very quickly and easily (maybe due to the fact that I am an only child having no brothers or sisters). I started fully enjoying the freedom of choice just as you mentioned without having to take anyone else into consideration accept myself. I did sometimes feel the depth of guilt living in this seeming height of selfishness.
But recently I am started to tire of this lifestyle and freedom. (The onset was probably the sudden death of my mother three years ago. The fact of not having anyone intimately close to me share and express my grief really highlighted how alone I truly was. I basically did not fully grieve in this lost)
I now yearn more than ever to not only to share magic moments with that soulmate again but also to experience the act of unselfish sacrifice for that person. To have to take that person into consideration and be willing to adjust and change my plans for her.
If its a choice with me doing my own selfish thing alone or to at least engaging in some form of compromise for the sake of being together then I now feel ready to take that latter path again.
However that path is not without danger.
Two failed marriages where I did concede somewhat to appease my partners wishes but where both initiated the termination of the relationship. This did teach me a powerful lesson but in addition I was never one for letting a woman fully boss me about or one that would consent to blunt demands. I have always had my limitations on just how far I was willing to go with a bottom line rule of
“agreeing to disagree”
and allowing her to do her thing without my involvement or with me having to experience the consequence of her choice or decision. That limit also has to do with not wanting to force anyone to do anything for me against their wishes. I only want to receive and experience what is given from the heart. I hate interaction based on social or cultural expectations.
I hold the act of mutual respect in very high esteem especially as regards how we speak and treat each other. I simply would block and probably stubbornly refuse to cooperate if I feel as if I am being spoken to like a child that is being scolded.
The best way to manipulate and control me is gently and subtle by simply allowing me to be a man and following me in my crazy ideas, plans and dreams (yes admittedly this person would have to have some form of mental insanity as well)
This however creates a totally opposite effect in me causing me to view and treat that person in such a way that I would want to take her into consideration in my undertakings.
If I observe and feel that she is not happy or comfortable with something then I am willing to adjust or change for her even if in some cases it would mean not being able to visit that one other travel destinations on my bucket list of ‘places you must see before you die’ 😃
My slogan being;
“if you are happy then I am happy”
I can honestly say I have experienced greater joy travelling to the local seaside resort with my family on a cool cloudy day, still wrapped in warm clothing and winter coat, trying to build sand castles, walking along the pier, eating fresh fish snacks and ice cream rather than sitting alone in a secret tropical Jamaican paradise bay with perfect blue skies and cool gentle winds, swimming in crystal clear waters, chilling on a quiet uncrowded beach while awaiting to be called to come to the outdoor restaurant area to eat my ordered freshly boiled lobster. http://www.halfmoonbeachjamaica.com/
Travelling alone – yes at times we do need to escape but being the social, love addicted, creatures we are, I still believe that….
‘The Ultimate Road Trip’ is with a Soul Mate that would have chosen the very same path.
Thank you for your sharing your journey and thoughts with us Tracy