I am you & you are me.

https://www.pexels.com/@224453

I don’t really want or need anyone to follow me.

 

As I have stated in my bio page I am already fulfilled when I can express my inner thoughts and emotions into words.

 

My only wish is that maybe while you are passing by window shopping, that maybe one blog on this site can encourage and inspire you to

 

….start following yourself….

 

Stop underestimating and doubting yourself. You know a lot more than you realise. Deep down inside of you you already have the knowledge and tools to succeed.

 

It’s stuff like your gut feeling, base instincts, common sense, seasonal cravings and yearnings etc.

 

Sometimes that one weak addiction you’re having issues with is your body’s way of informing you of a deeper inner issue, deficiency or trauma that needs your attention and that you are trying to deal with in an unhealthy way. The list is endless.

 

This does mean that you no longer need to listen to others peoples advice it has more to do with blindly following people because the masses are following that person. Combine listening to your inner consciousness while giving them a chance to make their point.

 

Sometimes even when we love what we are hearing we still realise that we are deceiving ourselves. It’s either too good to be true, too comfortable, too convenient or gives the impression that we are perfect when normal logic tells us we are not, and somehow deep inside of us we know it.

 

But the thing that is really scary is when they tell us something that confirms our deepest inner fears and assumptions. Things that we don’t want to believe and have been trying to suppress because this would destroy our own make believe world that we created to protect ourselves.

 

Some new expert or guru merely confirmed what you already knew so even if you finally acquiesced why continue following him blindly?

 

Don’t.
Let this fact stimulate you
to listen to you more.

 

I sometimes wonder what am I doing here, what am I talking about ? I feel as if I have very little authority to speak. I have no higher education therefore not possessing any degrees in psychology or social sciences etc. I also cannot present a portfolio of years of practical working experience in some of the fields I talk about.

 

My primary source of inspiration is based on my own personal experiences, the experiences of family and friends and an observation of the combined experiences of people in general.

 

And a continual thirst for more knowledge in recognition of the fact that ;

 

The more I learn the greater the realisation of my ignorance.

 

This takes me off any imaginary throne of superiority. This puts me at your level. But this seeming disadvantage actually becomes a very powerful asset, an asset that I can claim to have decades of practical working experience in. I have a degree in being just an normal ordinary guy (although some of my friends and family would question that ‘normal’ aspect.)

 

I have purposely omitted another very important factor that concerns spirituality and a firm belief and conviction in a higher being that knows us better than ourselves. This is something very personal and everyone will have to decide for himself whether he chooses to recognise the existence of such and if this will be his main source of inspiration and support. Mutual respect for everyone’s belief or lack of belief in this matter.

 

I am you & you are me and maybe by sharing some of me you can find you ……

 

and move on to that next shop window of inspiration or better still creating your own shop window providing something of value for others.

From the seemingly purely selfish pursuit of wealth to the ultimate selfless act of giving.

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

One of the things that always impressed me about Robert Kiyosaki’s books, Cashflow Game and general philosophy was that while he promotes and teaches about gaining financial freedom and independance he also places great emphasis on giving back while you are travelling along that path to wealth.

Either by teaching what you learned or giving some of what you have earned.

Striving for riches and giving to charity always seemed  like two opposite ends of a spectrum. People who seem to be selfishly preoccupied with gaining wealth as opposed to people who are selflessly sacrificing their lives for others. 

But the fact is that some of the largest financial donors are those who became millionaires. They are not all mean, greedy and selfish.

I use this account to share entrepreneurial ideas and to possibly attract like minded people that can maybe inspire me. But Robert keeps reminding me never to forget those worse off than me.

I just finished reading the latest magazine from Doctors without borders. Their work has always amazed me in so many different ways and this article highlighted another aspect of their work. Not just carry out emergency operations in make stift field tents in war torn disease infected areas they also bring taboo subjects right into the open such as the continual plaag of rampant sexual violence and abuse. They not only create awareness of what is happening but also endeavour to tackle the stigma, shame and rejection that victims suffer in addition to being raped or sexually abused. The concerted therapy and group counseling that this organisation gives is helping families, local communities and governments come to terms with these horrific phenomenon that is simply not going away but they are helping their victims to heal, to be accepted back into their families instead of being cursed and rejected by them and encouraging victims to seek help as quickly as possible to at least minimise damage incurred.

One of the main reasons that motivated me to start supporting this organisation on a regular basis was their consistent refusal to be sponsored and financed by any government anywhere. Their primary source of income comes from voluntary contributions from the general public. This gives them complete control and freedom as to where and when they choose to give aid without any political or financial influence or manipulation.

So yes continue your journey to gaining financial freedom and independence but never forget to give back.

https://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/who-we-are/principles/independence

Text messaging – (expressing my Dutch expressive side)

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Wanneer iemand zich verontschuldigt voor het niet onmiddellijk antwoorden van mijn text berichten.

Misschien ben ik een uitzondering maar ik houd mijn adem niet wanneer ik een text bericht stuurt naar iemand want ik vind juist het troef erin dat men kan een bericht lezen en antwoorden op het moment wat bij hen best past.

Als ik echt een onmiddellijk reactie of antwoord moet hebben van iemand dan ga ik gebruik maken van het oorspronkelijk hoofddoel van een cellphone……

hun gewoon bellen!!

Een korte blog bij Christopher

From the solo travellor to Soul Mate travel

http://A blog in response to a social media post from Tracy Mcmillan

……there is nothing to bring you into the present moment like travelling alone…

I have been travelling alone for several years now. At first it felt strange after living the full family life for over a quarter of a century. However I seemed to adapt to this new status very quickly and easily (maybe due to the fact that I am an only child having no brothers or sisters). I started fully enjoying the freedom of choice just as you mentioned without having to take anyone else into consideration accept myself. I did sometimes feel the depth of guilt living in this seeming height of selfishness.

But recently I am started to tire of this lifestyle and freedom. (The onset was probably the sudden  death of my mother three years ago. The fact of not having anyone intimately close to me share and express my grief really highlighted how alone I truly was. I basically did not fully grieve in this lost)

I now yearn more than ever to not only to share magic moments with that soulmate again but also to experience the act of unselfish sacrifice for that person. To have to take that person into consideration and be willing to adjust and change my plans for her.

If its a choice with me doing my own selfish thing alone or to at least engaging in some form of compromise for the sake of being together then I now feel ready to take that latter path again.

However that path is not without danger.

Two failed marriages where I did concede somewhat to appease my partners wishes but where both initiated the termination of the relationship. This did teach me a powerful lesson but in addition I was never one for letting a woman fully boss me about or one that would consent to blunt demands. I have always had my limitations on just how far I was willing to go with a bottom line rule of

“agreeing to disagree”

and allowing her to do her thing without my involvement or with me having to experience the consequence of her choice or decision. That limit also has to do with not wanting to force anyone to do anything for me against their wishes. I only want to receive and experience what is given from the heart. I hate interaction based on social or cultural expectations.

I hold the act of mutual respect in very high esteem especially as regards how we speak and treat each other. I simply would block and probably stubbornly refuse to  cooperate if I feel as if I am being spoken to like a child that is being scolded. 

The best way to manipulate and control me is gently and subtle by simply allowing me to be a man and following me in my crazy ideas, plans and dreams (yes admittedly this person would have to have some form of  mental insanity as well) 

This however creates a totally opposite effect in me causing me to view and treat that person in such a way that I would want to take her into consideration in my undertakings. 

If I observe and feel that she is not happy or comfortable with something then I am willing to adjust or change for her even if in some cases it would mean not being able to visit that one other travel destinations on my bucket list of ‘places you must see before you die’ 😃

My slogan being; 

“if you are happy then I am happy”

I can honestly say I have experienced greater joy travelling to the local seaside resort with my family on a cool cloudy day, still wrapped in warm clothing and winter coat, trying to build sand castles, walking along the pier, eating fresh fish snacks and ice cream rather than sitting alone in a secret tropical Jamaican paradise bay with perfect blue skies and cool gentle winds, swimming in crystal clear waters, chilling on a quiet uncrowded beach while awaiting to be called to come to the outdoor restaurant area to eat my ordered freshly boiled  lobster. http://www.halfmoonbeachjamaica.com/

Travelling alone – yes at times we do need to escape but being the social, love addicted, creatures we are, I still believe that….

‘The Ultimate Road Trip’ is with a Soul Mate that would have chosen the very same path.

Thank you for your sharing your journey and thoughts with us Tracy